As I was vacuuming my apartment today, something dawned on me. The Democrats and Republicans were probably were really founded by extremists that got screwed by members of the other party at a vulnerable and impressionable age in their lives. For instance, some liberal probably pissed off a conservative by egging his house during a protest when that person had just come home from a hard days work from their 9-5 job. Craving vengeance, but possibly ‘being too much of a p****y’ to do anything about it by resolving the dilemma right then and there with a good fist fight, that person started thinking and thinking about what was the best way to retaliate and cleans society of such riffraff so they wouldn’t have do deal with their shit anymore. Eventually, that person wrote up some proposals, had their friends look at it; and all these homeowners probably agreed that this persons ideas made sense and thus the Republican party was eventually born. On the other side, the liberal was probably spawned by a free spirited youth that grew up in a Westernized Christian home with super strict parents that never let them out. Craving for freedom, they came to despise the very system of parenting that bound them without reason for so long-- restricting that person of understanding or at least accommodating them to pursue a rather unfulfilling but otherwise healthy lifestyle based on their own personal desires.
Going to extremes, the founder of the liberal movement came to hate everything about conservative values that ever existed, unconsciously relating it to their parents. In time, this type of teen discovered they were not alone: Already living out on their own and never getting the proper nurturing for good survival mechanisms, the typical founding fathers of the liberal movement found themselves in a bind. Being full of energy but with no where to go, they found it difficult to ‘move ahead’ on the job market, that was initially run by an industry that rewarded the hard working boring that was derived from the principles of their conservative but timid and complacent forefathers. This type of frustrating system is enough to make anyone cranky.
When fighting an enemy that cannot tangibly be seen with clarity, life itself can seem restrictive. Abolishing a movement that can’t be pinpointed without a clear solution to remedy the problem caused the typical liberal to live in a reality, where like a vampire that needs blood, continuously looked for something new to complain about. Hence, the protest movements were formed. As I cleaned the toilet today, I wondered if this is how the homeowner and tenant classes came to be -- and as a result, we all suffer the consequences of the imbalances and shortcomings of either system in our society… maybe this is ultimately why the passenger window of my car was initially smashed up last summer.
I sat there and my hands trembled as I thought about all of this: My roommate had left the bathroom window open again. Upon closing it, I suddenly realized that there is a third class of person. The person who is neither liberal or republican but balanced. Such a person, I theorize, would have the foresight to not let the shortcomings and the mistakes of their parents dictate their destiny and go to the extremes of joining either radical cause so blindly. Unfortunately, I don’t know anyone like this, so I am doomed to say that this third party would more or less make good fan fiction. I hope someone writes up a new system of proposals that catch on more effectively than the green party that will ultimately make society better and less absurd in these parts, and then my stupid car passenger windows won’t keep getting smashed up at night..