So I was training one of my clients today at the health club, and she was sharing with me how
I guess this weekend her and her boyfriend went to go watch "Cats" -- Cats.. you know, CATS: That world famous Broadway musical about God knows what

... the one that when my client went to the lady's room during intermission she overheard 3 times; "Do you know what's going on?"
... the one that NO ONE I KNOW knows what the #$*@ it is about
-- the one that inexplicably gained fame in practically 80 different countries and won international renown which as my client wondered, maybe it's because no one ever spoke up against it..
... the one that is George Bush's favorite play! - (that is if the movie "W." was in any way historically accurate)...

with that said, it got me thinking: I know some of you have read and liked my play "Yosemite Nights": I would like to someday, as a purely artistic challenge, write a world renowned musical play called "CELANTHROPODS".

Think about it: a play about invertebrates!! Mollusks! Scavengers! Imagine seeing a Broadway stage full of strange and colorful shell covered creatures just standing there as they cling to
to a colorful jagged wall that is supposed to resemble a coral reef.. They sit there singing songs and dishing out likable numbers about the similarities of celanthropods such as mollusks and the sedentary lifestyles of those living in the modern world plagued by mass media and runaway consumerism that makes them too lazy to lift a finger anymore!

What the hell would "Celanthropods" be about??

It would be an audience participation piece, as these people sit there like an invertebrate and watch the play, laughing it up as the mollusks literally sit there and do nothing the entire time. Then at the end of the play, a giant mirror comes down and faces the audience as if the mollusks had reproduced and with some special effects they ironically see themselves dressed up in the same colors as the mollusks! What a metaphorical lecture about the modern world!!

My point is, if "Cats" can make it and become a big international smash hit all these years, then there's no reason to stop the idea of "Celanthropods" from stemming into the next certain Tony award winning bit of overrated surrealism...

Personally, I think I think if you're crazy enough to sit through "Cats" then I can't see how you wouldn't be someone above paying tickets to see something as bad as "Zoo Animals on Wheels:"

Super bowl is coming up: Despite the commercials that are over the top that try to outdo each other, the pregame show, the festive parties at T’s that he always throws, the yuletide, the halftime show and the cheer, I am prolly’ not going to watch any of it. I would rather be watching ‘Battle Royale” like I did one Superbowl instead..

The only thing good to come recently from the Superbowl holiday are the burger king commercials with the King sleeping in a bed with some dude and offering him a hamburger, and that was three years ago! I hope this year they’ll be able to even top that off but as the nearby apocalypse draws near as they say, I just don’t know…

I guess the saddest thing about the Super bowl is when I see is the crowd of people that have been chosen to get on the field that unless I’m mistaken, think that they are all privileged to get to watch the “Rod Stewart Halftime show” or whatever the hell they end up playing that year during the show and jamming to the music. I always picture two guys right near the front of the stage head banging really hard, feeling so privileged for being there and are embracing each other and crying out “WE’RE REALLY DOING IT MAN!!! WE’RE HERE!!” and giving high fives to the people all around them like this was their big moment in the sun. I guess I feel bad.

Since I’ve never been to a live Super bowl, I have no idea what they do with these people after the half time show. I always picture all the lights in the stadium going off during a commercial, and then suddenly hired goons pour out of the end zones and drive them away like cattle until they are evicted out of the stadium. Muffled cries all over the field are drowned by deep voices screaming “Get Out Of Here” and pandemonium ensues all over the field.. I feel sorry ‘cause it’s not until they are out in the parking lot that these half beaten concertgoers realize they were impressionable lost souls and finally realize how unbelievably bad the halftime show really is…

Alright.. so, sorry I am late on the updating blog.. It's been a pretty interesting vacation trip this winter. This might be the last one in a long time (unless I decide to go to New York later this month).. Like I said in the last blog, I didn't even need to go: I just happened to have already purchased for the vacation back in November...

Part one of my adventures:

PALUMBO give me the wrong directions to get there!!!! For those of you who know and love good ol' Palumbo, he's a great kid to go on ski trips with when he can actually go to them, but yes, I'm not going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he just plain sucks at directions since he screwed up both attempts he made in giving directions to get to Sugarloaf Mountain in Maine.. We were at Tortilla Sam's in Worcester with my sister when I told him I was leaving for my annual oddessey this year when I caught him the first time before he would have incorrectly given me directions to get to Kilington and not Sugarloaf..
The second time I must regrettably say it was my own fault for getting distracted when he typed directions on his blackberry - only to find out the next day that I had ended up at Sugarleaf ski area in the MIDDLE OF THE PRESIDENTIAL MOUNTAINS in New Hampshire and not at my desired destination. Suffice to say I was two hours off course. ..

Anyway, once I got there at night the fun finally began...

"I found myself in a remote paradise surrounded finally by pines, glades, rolling mountain ranges surrounding the panoramic view, after a recently fallen snowfall protected our haven from the remote potential of further population from the so called real world settling there.. as for once the so called human mind as we understand it could finally focus on an alien world - an ideal world, undisturbed by human mediocrity was able to finally gather focus as subterranean thoughts of heaven were brought into alighnment, where one's wits are regathered and confidence is never scattered, for the first time as can be gathered, being alive physically and metaphysically is the only thing that matters..."





Part Two: Hey! Where did all the girls go?

Yes it was a slice of heaven, and I was with a good crew of people, only like an odd twilight zone episode, I was in a shangri la, but it was all dudes! I'd go skiing; all dudes on the slopes. At the end of the day, retire to the spa and jacuzzi areas outside by the glade patios -- all dudes..... I was reminded of my strange days of working at the BSC in the south end... The two gals that were with us had boyfriends. The girls on the slopes turned out to be effeminate looking dudes who
wore bright colors and should grow more facial hair behind their ski masks.. I guess Razel the human beat box artist was doing a gig at the bar at the hotel lodge for some surreal reason, but we ended up not going. At any rate, aside from the anthrax that might have been left in our condo that gave us all horrendous sneezing fits (or maybe it was Alex who brought a cold with him), the trip was pretty sweet....

Part Three: I'm proud to say, I wiped out only once during the trip! It was on a double black diamond, which I'll admit I would have never attempted had my friend Erich "Crossroads" Lidstone hadn't peer pressured me into doing it... I couldn't turn my ski, fell head first down the slope, and sliding 150 feet felt strangely peaceful.

Am I dead or am I living? Too afraid to care too afraid to know...

Then I had this random dream where an assassin that looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger scaled up a cliffside in a castle that my family doesn't own in real life and try to kidnap my sister who for some reason was the girl from 'the fifth element' and could bring back balance in the world against the threat of ocean lines with wheels on them roaming on dryland and mauling everything..

The trip home..

The trip home was really relaxing in my rental car that coincidentally looked just like my boss's
PT Cruiser. This time it only took me 5 hours to get back instead of 7! Nevertheless, there was
something good that came out of this trip... Hanging out in the summit of a northeastern mountain all week seems to have given me immunity to subzero weather, and my proudest moment was pumping 25$ worth of gas at a reststop in Lawrence somewhere wearing just a T shirt while the mexican family on the other side of the pump looked at me in disgust, and kept pointing at me and going "Ay, pero que loco!"

Part Four: Epilogue:

But the best part was then when I got back , I just found out the WPI physics department is down with allowing my Physics books to be distributed to the student body there... I even got
the head of the physics department to write a review on the work, who says the following about
JD'CGT P& FITU.... Here's what Professor Ianchianni PHD has to say about my twisted piece of work that makes up the Physics Compilations currently available for sale on the online store..

"The book strikes a unique balance in making physics fun and not compromising necessary conceptual information. It reaches students at their level.. Material is made accessible by employing the kind of style that many students can connect to..."

This is the big day before the big day tomorrow; I will be participating existing
at sugarloaf ski mountain for a few days after I leave tomorrow once I endure a
5 hour car ride that I am not looking forward to before I get there. The good
news is that the car ride is in the direction of the ski mountain, so I should be
closer to my destination by the end of the day. The funny thing is, I actually
AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING... strange; it's almost like I
feel I don't need the vacation. This puts me in a very awkward spot since no
one I know can relate to me. If I was to tell them, "yeah, I'll be out the rest of
the week vacationing while I go skiing a Sugarloaf mountain but I would rather
be working", they'd say I was nuts. "Why don't you just not go?"


"Because I already paid money"

The truth is, I've spent the last three weeks pretty much galavanting, hanging out with friends already who are inexplicably vacationing in this part of the world and pretty much doing the same that resembles celebrating..... Since I seemed inexplicably troubled in mind in a way I can't rationalize, my sister just asked me what I did today. After reflecting my day, I still can't make
heads or tails why I seem so apprehensive.


My adventures the day before Sugarloaf...

So I woke up this morning after having a dream that I owned a cross dressing chimpanzee who
would wear blue dresses and red high heel shoes.. I went straight to the gym to train clients
the entire day, I had to attend a company business meeting where I dozed off and was staring at
a colleagues arm when an epiphany hit me: why is it culturally acceptable for women to shave their legs but not their arms? Nobody I've talked to today has yet to produce a good answer.

At night, after teaching my surreal all womens aerobics class, I met up with the Palumbo brothers and my sister at T Sams restaurant where we partook in a nostalgic meal of bean burritos and chips. I guess things will look better tomorrow after the possible concussion I've
endured goes away. Wish me luck up there on vacation.. For anyone who actually is interested, I should be back sunday if everything goes ok.. I won't be able to be reached for 4 days. Go check out the Dalat!